If you struggle finding the words: Oceans of Grief, When Pain is Unspeakable

Finding the words can be difficult. Sometimes they remain stuck in our throat, it's like trying to grasp smoke – you feel it, you see it, but the moment you try to hold onto it, it slips through your fingers, and the smoke remains.

When words are elusive

Some other times we know that there are things that cannot be expressed with words. How do you describe the feeling of watching a loved one slip away? Words feel inadequate, clumsy. Or when life shatters you with devastating news. The initial thought is this is not happening, not happening to me. The mind reels, searching for a framework, a category, any word. But there are none. Only the hollow ache.

Music, art, and dance can get closer, bypassing the limitations of words. Yet, often, we are still left with no words.

Sometimes, a shared glance, a knowing look, can make us feel seen in a way that words, even the most carefully chosen, cannot. It feels like acknowledging the smoke – recognizing the presence of those unspeakable emotions, even if we can't name them.

When pain makes words elusive, or when you know vocabulary is too limited to express the depth of your experience, what you feel might needs a space to be heard. This sound counterintuitive. I have no words, so why should I trust another limited human to find anything within me? Why make the effort?

The ocean of grief could keep you at the bottom, asking only for stillness. But even in that stillness, there can be a yearning for connection, a need to be witnessed.

Therapy offers a safe space to explore difficult emotions, recognizing that words are often just our best attempt to capture the human experience. The shared presence, the act of listening, can foster a connection that transcends words, and sometimes, even help us find a few, imperfect words to begin to express what's within. I’ll be listening.